


go ahead and scream it

by ceteiq



Series: "and a place to rest my head" [6]
Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, POV Child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:06:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23921305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceteiq/pseuds/ceteiq
Summary: A ficlet based on my fic "and a place to rest my head," for the prompt:Something at Szymon’s inn while Rian was a little older(In which Rian just wants his papa's birthday to be happy.)
Series: "and a place to rest my head" [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1719994
Comments: 30
Kudos: 220





	go ahead and scream it

**Author's Note:**

> i asked for prompts on tumblr related to my fic "[ **and a place to rest my head**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23097559/chapters/55259602)" and this is for the prompt: "Something at Szymon’s inn while Rian was a little older." thank you to the anon who requested it!
> 
> also many thanks to [starlitfics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlitfics/pseuds/starlitfics) for beta-reading this!
> 
> timeframe: it's jaskier's 18th birthday, rian is 3 and a half, and they're at szymon's inn
> 
>  **warnings** — it's all from the POV of a child who doesn't really understand everything, but there's: hunger, implication of prostitution, mentions of non-con a/b/o bonding, implied physical abuse, descriptions of injuries resulting from abuse, mentions of blood, implied offscreen rape, implication of injuries resulting from rape

It's nighttime, and Papa says it's time to sleep, but Rian is excited. He's excited because it's Papa's birthday tomorrow, and that means Papa gets to make a wish, and maybe it will come true.

Papa doesn't seem excited though. He seems sad and tired.

"Rian," he says, when Rian does a somersault on the floor. "I told you, it's bedtime. Come here and take your medicine."

"I don't want to."

"I know. But you have to. Come here."

So Rian sits down on the bed next to Papa. He watches as Papa pours medicine from the brown bottle into the bottle's lid.

"Here," Papa says then. He hands Rian the lid, and Rian drinks it all up, even though it tastes bad. That's because he's brave.

"Good job, honey," says Papa. He puts the lid back on the bottle and kisses Rian's cheek. "Sleep well, okay? I'll see you tomorrow."

"On your birthday."

"Yes," says Papa. He still doesn't seem excited. "Goodnight, Rian."

"Goodnight, Papa." Rian yawns. His medicine makes him sleepy. He curls up on the mattress, and Papa rubs his back, and he falls asleep.

***

When Rian wakes up, it's daytime, and he's underneath the bed like always.

His tummy hurts, so he presses his hand against it. But then he remembers: Today is Papa's birthday!

He listens hard to see if he can hear a Bad Man still in the room, but he doesn't. Quietly, he crawls out from under the bed and peers up at the mattress. Papa is lying there alone, which means it's safe to come out. Rian stands up.

Papa is facing away from him. He has the covers pulled up only a little, and he's naked, so Rian can see his arms and back, all covered in bruises. There are always bruises. They're ugly and purple, or sometimes yellow. Rian hates it.

"Papa?" he whispers. "It's your birthday."

Papa makes a groaning noise. Then he rolls over, and Rian sees teeth marks on his neck where his scent gland is.

"Oh no," Rian breathes. "You— you—"

Papa covers the mark with his hand. "It's okay, honey."

But Rian starts to cry. He can't help it. "You got marked!" he says.

"I know, honey. Come here. I'll be okay."

Rian climbs onto the bed and curls up next to Papa, crying against Papa's chest. "But it's your birthday," he says.

Papa touches Rian's hair. "It's okay," he says again. 

But it's _not_ okay. Because when Papa gets marked, then Szymon gets angry, and he makes Papa drink a yucky potion that hurts him really bad and makes him cry.

"Rian, I don't care about my birthday," says Papa. "It doesn't matter."

"Yes it _does_!" Rian says.

Papa sighs, then takes Rian's wrist in his hand and scents him. It feels good. Rian sniffles, and stops crying.

"There," says Papa. "There we go. Now, you know what would make my birthday happy?"

"What?"

"If we could just lie here for a little while together, before I go tell Szymon about my mark. If we could just lie here quietly."

"Quietly?" whispers Rian.

"Yes," says Papa.

Rian nods. "Okay," he says. Rian is good at being quiet, like when Szymon tells him to shut the fuck up. 

So he lies quietly for a long time, just like Papa asked. Papa holds him close and touches his hair some more. It feels nice.

But then Rian's tummy starts hurting again. It hurts so bad he forgets about being quiet.

"Papa, I'm hungry," he says.

"I know," says Papa. "But Szymon's going to be angry I got marked."

"So no breakfast?"

"Probably not, honey. I'm sorry."

"But I'm _really_ hungry." Rian lifts his shirt and pats his belly. "It hurts really bad."

Papa stares at Rian's belly. Then he looks away. "Okay," he says. "Fuck. Okay, I'll— I'll ask Szymon, honey." He gets out of bed and stands up, and Rian sees more bruises, on Papa's bum and legs. 

Papa puts on his clothes quickly. "You stay here, okay, Rian? I'll be downstairs but you stay right here," he says.

Rian nods.

Papa bends down and kisses Rian's ear. Then he leaves the room.

He's gone for a long time, Rian thinks. He lies under the covers and tries not to be scared. He pushes on his tummy with his fist so he won't feel so hungry. He traces his finger around the stains on the bed. There are lots of stains. Some are yellow and some are reddish-brown.

He waits and waits, till finally the door opens and Papa is back. Rian sits up in bed, and sees Papa has a plate with food on it! But then he looks at Papa's face, and oh no. Papa is hurt.

His lip and nose are bleeding. One of his eyes is puffy.

"Papa," says Rian. "Szymon hit you?"

Papa nods. "He was angry I got marked." His voice sounds scratchy and sore, like after the Bad Men hurt him in his throat. "But I got you breakfast, honey, look."

He walks to the bed really slow and sits down next to Rian with the plate in his lap. "Look, there's some yummy potatoes. And some bread. I'll take off the moldy bits and then that'll be yummy too, okay?"

Rian nods. He grabs a potato piece and bites into it. It's cold and hard, but Rian doesn't mind. He chews it up and swallows and gives Papa a big smile.

Papa doesn't smile back. He looks sad. Rian wishes he would be happy. Food is happy. "Do you want potatoes?" he asks Papa.

Papa shakes his head. "No thank you, honey," he says. Then he picks up the bread and starts tearing off the fuzzy green parts. Rian watches for a little bit, but then he remembers about his empty tummy.

So he keeps eating the cold potatoes. When he finishes them, Papa hands him the bread he took off the mold from. Rian eats that up too.

"All done," he says.

Papa does a very tiny smile. "Do you feel better now?"

Rian nods. "My tummy is more full."

"Good." Papa puts the plate on the floor. Then he lies down in bed and Rian cuddles near to him. He's a little confused about why Szymon gave Papa food if he was angry about the marking. So he asks Papa why.

"I gave him something he wanted," Papa says. His nose and lip are still bleeding and his voice is still scratchy.

"What'd you give him?"

"It doesn't matter. It was worth it." Papa kisses Rian on the hair. Then all of a sudden he closes his eyes and makes a hurting noise.

"Papa?" asks Rian.

"I'm okay. It's just. Szymon had me drink the potion to reverse the bond, and it's— _fuck_." Papa closes his eyes really tight again. "It's painful."

"Oh yeah." Rian pats Papa's arm. This always happens when Papa gets marked. It makes Rian sad. It makes Rian extra sad today, because it's Papa's _birthday_. It's no fair that it's his birthday but he has so many hurts— his mark, his bruises, his eye and nose and lip, his throat. Maybe in his bum too. 

Rian wants Papa's birthday to be _happy_.

"Papa," he whispers.

"Mmm?"

"You gotta make a wish, Papa."

"Huh?"

"It's your birthday," Rian says. "So you gotta make a wish."

"Maybe later," says Papa. His face is all scrunched up. "Hurts too much."

"Oh," says Rian. That makes him cry a little, but he tries to be quiet so Papa won't know. They lie there for a very long time. Rian doesn't know how long. Papa makes so many groans and hurting noises.

Then he says, "Rian," and starts crying very hard.

"Papa?"

"I wish— we could live somewhere together— and there'd be no Szymon, or— or Bad Men, and you'd never be hungry or cold, and I wouldn't either, and— oh, honey." He hugs Rian close against his body. "I wish that someday we'd be safe."

"That's your birthday wish?"

Papa nods.

"So that means it'll come true?" When Rian turned three he wished that Szymon would feed them nice food the next day, and he _did_! So Rian knows birthday wishes do come true.

"Maybe," says Papa. "Maybe, Rian. I don't know."

"Oh," says Rian. He reaches up and wipes some tears off Papa's cheeks. It doesn't make Papa stop crying, but it does make him smile a little.

Rian likes when Papa smiles.

Then Papa squeezes him tight and kisses his hair. "Oh, honey," he says. "I love you so much."

"I love you so much too," says Rian. He loves Papa because Papa kisses him and sings to him and feeds him and keeps him safe. 

He hopes, very hard, that Papa's wish can come true, and that someday someone can keep Papa safe too.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! :) comment to let me know your thoughts!! 
> 
> did you like the rian POV?
> 
> also, subscribe to this [**series**](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1719994) so you don't miss more ficlets when i post them! :)


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